December 13, 2003
PERSONal News Service

Bush Declares End to Law of Gravity

President Bush today declared that the Law of Gravity no longer applies to the United States of America. The repeal of this law adds another item to the list of world rules that the United States will no longer honor. They include the ABM Treaty, the Kyoto Protocol, and the World Court, among others.

In a brief statement to the press, Mr Bush explained, "America will no longer be bound to a law that was invented in the seventeenth century in England by Isaac Newton, an Englishman, and arbitrarily applied for centuries to our country."

He would not comment on the rumor that Mr Newton had been dug up to proclaim about the introduction of his law, "I see now that it was pretty stupid; I don't know why I did it."


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